Oh wow. I am not exactly daunted by my current size. I mean, I am. If I was going to deliver next week, it would be ok. The current level of back pain, the about-to-pop feeling in my abdomen – all ok. But knowing that I still have 3 months to go! I have no idea how I am going to make it! I don’t know how I could possibly continue to grow at this rate. It is scaring me.
The one thing that should just keep me calm is to know that others have done this. I am not the first person to have twins. My body spontaneously created them, so I can handle it right? Besides, octomom and others have carried higher order multiples, why can’t I carry 2. Of little consolation when I feel like breathing in too deeply will snap a stomach muscle…
Yowswers! Things are really picking up speed now. I can feel the stretching and growing pains in more way than one. Maybe it is just going to be in spurts. Or else my body is going to be fully challenged on a daily basis from here on out. Anyhoo the last couple of days have been amazing. Ask a gestating woman how they “know” they feel kicks. How do you “know” it is ok? Hmm, the indescribable intuition involved in opening your physical being the entering universe when you create a human being from scratch – describe it. Nah. I will just tell you though, that I “know” my body has been really going through something the last few days.
It could be the achy feeling occassionally, or the sharp pain when trying to carry the weight of my toddler in my arms and partially resting on my belly. It could be nearly constant exhaustion. It could be the fact that 1/2 an hour ago I oscillated from feeling hearburn to dizzy spell, to babies kicking, to hunger, to nausea all in one minute. Wow. What is going on in here? Dunno, but that is a range of symptoms I more often cover in a week. Maybe the twins are multiplying. Haha. No wait, that is not funny. I have no idea what they are doing in there, but I am going to give it the respect it deserves and head to bed now. Yes, that is in fact the solution.
Well, it appears that the twins are in negotiations at present. The doctor told me that they have plenty of time to move around and that the womb is very three dimensional. They were stacked like bunk beds at our last ultrasound. Right now they are awkwardly moving around and trying to figure out two is going to be left/right, top/bottom, front/back, or some combo of the aboce. The doc said that they could even end up with Twin B on bottom (therefore becoming Twin A by definition), and visa versa. It appears that the twins were listening to this conversation.
The last two days or so I have noticed that at times they end up stacked or packed in odd ways. I move too quickly or lay down and suddenly it is clear they are awkwardly placed where they hadn’t planned on ending up. I wonder if it is like a playful game of wrestling in there. Or are they seriously vying for positions? All I know is that when they are side by side one gets caught under a hip. When they are front to back the back one is very awkwardly pressing on my stomach and causing an odd kind of sudden nausea. Kind of funny actually.
I am hoping that they decide on some sort of yin and yang position with Twin A (closest to the cervix by definition not our choice) head down. That way we can hope for a natural birth instead of a surgical excision this time. I am not as obsessed with the idea this time. C-sections happen. You can not control everything, and it is important to be humbled by that fact. But it would be great to experience the “push, push!” moment at least once in my lifetime.
With my last pregnancy it was only one baby. Her growth was steady, and gradual. The twins are growing much faster! These two are kind of hilarious and obviously at an awkward stage of growth. Pretty soon they will be too big to play this flip flop game and will settle in to positions to grow. For now though, they can’t figure out who gets the top bunk!
Posted by mama playground | Posted in Pregnancy belly "showing" | Posted on 13-05-2009
It appears that I am to the point in the pregnancy where I have to be more conscious of the true state of my body. I went to “slip through” a narrow space between my car and a wall today, and may have bruised my belly. Hopefully I didn’t bump the babies. I wasn’t thinking like a pregnant person. I still feel relatively agile and normal. Later when I move like a whale in heat I will be all-too aware of my physical state. For now I will feel humbled but the fact that turning sideways may not be my most slender angle anymore. Sigh.
It seems that the babies have decided they are not messing around anymore. In the battle for the prime real estate of my abdominal cavity the tides have turned and the twins are now reigning victorious. From here on out my intestines and lungs will lose this battle on a daily basis.
It is kind of funny and cute when you start “showing”. There it is! Proof that you really are pregnant. It is a great feeling to have a belly to rub. People begin to notice you are pregnant and it is no longer an internal personal battle with nausea and fear of miscarriage, but rather a visible badge of honor. However, this time is different. For one thing, it is my second pregnancy and clearly my intestines have already learned to be less stubborn and proprietary. Also, this is the first time I have been pregnant with twins. Both of those factors make me more likely to be bigger faster this pregnancy. However, I AM GINORMOUS right now! I bumped in to a wall at 3months pregnant. I have 6 more months to go! Just a little scared.
