Mama PlaygroundA Blog for Moms

The day is fast approaching when we will field the large number of insensitive comments. That is just life. They have already begun. Why can’t people find something nice to stay (or else reach down, grab a sock, and shove it in the cavernous opening where potentially cruel words tend to linger). Sigh.

Either you roll the dice and end up with a sweet flock of giggles and pink dresses (an all-girl family), or you roll the dice and you end up with a proud and smelly baseball team (all-boy family). All-girl families get the “oh wow, teenage years are going to be quite something” comments – as if any teenager is a joy to be around! If you should end up with an all-boy family you get the “poor mom, I bet you were really trying for the girl with that last one” comments – as if THAT is what you were thinking about when you did the baby dance. Should you happen to get a mix of genders you get the “are those all yours?” comments. With only two kids “did you run out of money or something?” (I actually personally witnessed that one).

There is no winning. With one child, so far people have been quite kind. When the next two arrive though, we are going to have an actual brood. And with a brood comes the public opinion that floods in like the smell of cigarette smoke at a pleasant outdoor eatery. Yuck. We haven’t even found out the genders of the twins, and we are already getting them. I don’t get it. I want to give people the benefit of the doubt and assume that it actually comes from a position of not knowing what else to say, and therefore just spouting out something you have heard before. In which case it is more a reflex, and less of a revolting tradition of passive aggressive rudeness.

A list of alternate phrases that I would like to posit to the general public:

“My, what a beautiful family you have.”

“Oh look, three times the blessings!”

“Congratulations on your ability to breed at will.”

“Sweet kids. Congratulations, and Godspeed.”

All of those would be just fine, and thank you.